dementia V

there is nan’s visible neurosis as she tremblingly lifts the lid of the laptop & eyeballs the dark screen turning into action sponging from her a vision hemmed in worlds of hard borders. she never switched one on before & now nan’s doing so in a dream of mine in which I call out but…

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dementia IV

nan cursed grandad for leaving on a trip to heaven without her. he fought tooth n’ nail against leukaemia & prostrate cancer. —nan survived grandad & couldn’t cope with it. wen I ger’up there I’m gunna throttle him into next week. I always found it funny how nan assumed the calendar in heaven mimics earth’s.…

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dementia III

it ends with the wrong vowel for it to be as inert as tao. without its isochronal “o” this insoluble tau u-turns into void. I dow know worr’e’s on abowt ‘alf the time. yoo ‘av’ t’ave cold ‘ands to mek pastry. dow yow tell fibs…I waar. n’ I ay. fibrillary tangle of & & &…gone!…

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dementia II

now ‘ow’d I do it agen : “that” then that or that then “this” then “that”? nan’s head’s a sack of cabling smeared in lard. plaques harden like bacon grease gluing memories in a lump. when did the lump become a lump? the excruciating breakage of familiarity. the world turned uncanny as protein gluts brain…

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dementia I

When my grandma died from COVID in December, she’d also spent many years descending into dementia. After listening to a 6 hour long ambient album called Everywhere at the end time by a musician from Manchester called The Caretaker, which attempts to sonically represent the slow declension into dementia, I decided to write a series…

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