Kicking the old year into the new

i don’t quite get New Year, hearing people’s “goodbye” to an abstract stretch of moments & welcoming new time like a new pair of underwear. It always saddens me how we take time for granted, so much so that we celebrate the death of it. i don’t make resolutions, because i am always resolving to do something whether over a short or long period; i am not overweight so i can’t make that a goal, neither do i have any bad habits; neither does unwavering happiness interest me as the spectrum of emotion makes me more human & fuels how i observe— i get nothing much from the partitioning of time, nor of the celebration of it “exit”.

& on that bum note, i would however like to say that i hope in this new year, the poets & writers i divest a good chunk of my reading time to, continue to produce exceptional poems & writing. You know who you are. & know that, your reading compels me to be constantly inventive & to constantly produce, keeps my mind ticking over, never remaining stationary long enough to gather mold. Thank you & here’s to a healthy continuation of our relationships.

half way to a 1000

daechong peak.JPG

It seems like as good an opportunity as any to say thanks. i have reached 500 followers. So thanks, really. i’ve been blogging years now. This blog began as a dream interpretation blog, back when i couldn’t get Jung out my head. It never cut the mustard. i was doing it all wrong. But i had a sea change when i came to Jeju & i made some good choices by seeking out quality blogs & engaging, earnestly with their authors & revealing something about myself that way
i’d also like to take this opportunity to say though, that out of 500 people, there are only a handful of people i communicate with regularly, who have actually done more than just follow. It is odd to say, but this seems to be a natural result of blogging, an etiquette of sorts: wanting to intially show but not tell. Peculiar that.
So i’d like to say further that, it seems to me, as your blog grows, so the amount of people, like money: after a certain point, it self generates.
But i can’t help you if you don’t invest (i hate this money analogy, but it seems the most fitting). But i might, if you reveal something of who you are beyond what you want to say about yourself. i follow & communicate with a few bloggers who have never followed me back, but i’ve never felt they have to, they produce something i earnestly want to read, the quality of their output is enough. But ask yourself, is that enough for you?
i have followed people who have communicated with me directly, & because i liked how they responded to something, i ended up following their blog & understanding them in greater detail & more importantly, enjoying what they produce; because i had more context to build a picture of who they are.
Therefore, if i don’t follow you back it may be because i just don’t see myself being able to communicate anything positive about your product, because i am not interested in inspiration blogs (i don’t need any); nor am i interested in lifestyle blogs (i don’t think about it); nor am i interested in travel or food blogs; nor rashly jotted poems with all the articles taken out as if that brevity makes the poems better written.
i am interested in well crafted essays on literature, memory, art, politics, philosophy, i don’t mind personal essays, but they should be unexpected, literary. i am interested in art, because i can’t do it, but i want art that terrifies me, because of how unexpected it is, art that reproduces dimensions i have never seen. i am interested in photography that communicates more than a holiday or travel snap, i want a photographer who inhabits a landscape, not just a tourist. i am interested in music, especially the unconventional & uncompromising, i want music leaves me scraping up my jaw with a fish slice.
i know blogging is for all, that’s great, really. But there is still a hierarchy of quality; some people are still better at things than others. i believe that. i do believe that people can, by their own efforts become exceptionally adept at something without the aid of teachers, that is a true expert to me.
i may not be the best poet, but i never settle; i know myself to be my most austere critic, i know what i want. i am constantly revising & thinking how i can change the world into something a reader cannot anticipate. i have never settled for a blanket style, i write many different forms of poetry from observational & formal to fictional narrative in free verse.
i have written this at the risk of sounding like a snob (or stronger words are welcomed if you can give me a good reason why). However, quality is important to me, without it, i wouldn’t have tried to get better at what i do; furthermore, i don’t want to feel guilty for people perhaps thinking that this blogging malarkey is a tit for tat exchange, it isn’t. You can do what you do, but you can’t force an impression through a gesture, we are all different, with different expectations.
So thank you, truly, for following & liking, it means a lot. For those who have engaged with me, i hope i can continue to write something ample enough in quality to keep you coming back.

Regards

daniel

Hiatus

    i have decided after some deliberation this week, to take a hiatus from blogging. Perhaps a month or so, until the summer is over— i think it may be searing my brain, short circuiting some of the neuronal connections, my dendrites are firing blanks.
    i furthermore, received a high number of rushed rejections from journals which tells me a number of conflicting things: that the journals didn’t even bother to read the poems properly, further adding to my inkling that there is a hell of a lot of cronyism going on. My poems are not good enough. i am not presenting myself as best i can; i have no ego for this; i don’t like myself enough to be confidant in the etiquette of the submitter’s voice. i am trying to write for the journals, which is showing in the poems, absent of the honesty in my usual poetic voice: i am not an experimental poet, it seems & need to know the boundaries of my experimenting with syntactical units to affect my themes— i blame Roy Fisher. i am thus choosing the wrong journals to submit my poems. i just don’t know what the hell is going on anymore, the world terrifies me more & more each day & i don’t know how to be happy about anything anymore because i am so confused about the positions we can take because taking one omits others & that leaves us standing on an ever encroaching shore on all sides that is eating the land around us, until we are marooned on a 4 by 4 bank of sand surrounded by a boisterous ocean. i am struggling to produce enough poems for journals & the blog. i want to post my best poems on the blog & to journals, but i don’t have the time to write for both, so i feel my writing is getting sloppy. i think some time out will allow me to replenish my stores & focus on finding some matching journals. Anyone who thinks a journal or magazine would be interested in my poems, please let me know & i can look into that journal & submit.
    i am sure in the chaos of everything & the uncertainty of my mind these days that i am missing a lot. As much as blogging helps me write, it is a cause of anxiety at the moment, because i have gotten a glimmer of attention & worry if i don’t perform i will loose the few readers i have worked hard to form relationships with. Have i worked that hard? i dunno. i sure feel an obligation to post & continue dialogues with the poets & bloggers i enjoy reading. i feel now that as my stores are dwindling, i am perhaps writing with less attention & branching to themes i might not have a decent enough grasp of to justify writing about. i need to spend some time considering again what kind of poet i want to be & how i am going to unify any new directions to the voice i know i am confident with. i take poetry very serious, perhaps too serious & witnessing myself lose sight of what kind of poet i want to be, i must reel myself in & give myself a decent talking to, make sure of my purposes.
On top of this i have a bag of bones narrative poem which i want to but a good deal of focus on. i want to get it into shape for sending to publishers. A few bloggers have been kind enough to read my first draft & steer me a little (you know who you are) but i could do with more strong readers willing to help me. i particularly need a woman to help me get the voice of my protagonist right. So if you want to help me, please email me at danielpaulmarshall85@gmail.com & i’ll send you my draft to read over. Any feedback would be helpful.
    So i’ll take my little hiatus & see what i can do. This all sounds very dramatic, but i felt a message worthwhile if only to not seem ignorant if i don’t reply or give the poets i enjoy reading any attention. i will return with, i hope, sacks of poems & maybe some prose.

Photographs & a message to readers

i’m back to a packed regime due to our old, stubborn cleaner-fella ditching us for a spring trip out of the blue. i like working but it limits my writing time & blogging time & makes me drink, boy can i drink when i am busy & though i actually write pretty well with a head full of booze i simply don’t, which sounds like a cue to call bull shit, but it is true, if i get out of myself & think about writing while on the creature, i’ll churn out something ample enough for the feed of history.
So my reply time may be longer from here on out— & to new followers, i appreciate your interest & i am sorry if i don’t follow back, but i can’t follow everyone & read them qualitatively, & i am not in the habit of clicking ‘like’ on something passively; if i like something, i like it & at some point i will usually engage that blog in conversation or have already done so, so that the like carries weight from an already established relationship.
In addition, i have decided on a blog schedule:
Mon-Thur i will focus on re-blogs, that is if i can find something that jumps out & grabs me, if you think something you have written might be up my alley, email me at danielpaulmarshall85@gmail.com & i’ll consider it.
Fri-Sun, i’ll be blogging my own stuff— i still have a back date of poems & photographs & the slow trickle of my new writings will reinforce the future, with fingers crossed & a prayer in the post.

my gratitude

there are still not many people following my blog, but to those who have taken the plunge & decided to follow my work, i am grateful. i have met some talented folk & some intense correspondences have flowered since i began this blogging lark. the number of readers grows steadily, but grows nonetheless. however, i would like to reach more people, so may be you can help me.

i would, i know it’s cheeky, ask that you tell your pals about me, tell others about me & most importantly address me directly about my work, i would be very happy to talk more with people. if any one would like to feature me on their blog, i would be overjoyed, please get in touch: you can email me at danielpaulmarshall85@gmail.com.

regards

daniel