Part viii of The Jesus Army Saga, the Coda— Charlie is Done For (Worst Joke in the World)

this is the last of the series. but don’t blubber your eyes red, there are plenty more Charlie poems. i will post more of his adventures after a brief hiatus from his world. he has some thinking to do after this episode in his strangesome life. thanks for reading & commenting— i like to talk Charlie.

Charlie is Done For (Worst joke in the World)

Like an ascetic, chocolate smothered round their gob
done Charlie lookt chagrin, he gone sullied him’s self
: lambast with hurts them Jesus Army twats
: we heard the rumours too, the truth
of your established occupation in the sinful art of comedy!
I knows I’s crap at doing comic’s job
me (h)art’s not in it though i swears
—n’ ‘sin full’ up, you looking at wrongly bad all.
I work me hard much than the most, at that I’m even hate.
It wasn’t mine who got the idea for it, honest.
Him has been much glad with the change
to Coco-Pops rather than Weetabix, scrambled eggs
& farm life, the ease is up him soon needing return to tantrum crowds.
I thunk up an new joke if you’ll hear— you laugh, I stay…
: what footwears do an bad chap like best… moccasin, d’you get it!
…since before Oojoo’s birth, no silence heavier
than at that breakfast table been
— one of the Brothers toppled to the tiles
flapping like fish out water ranting in jargon of tongues.
The daftness of his brain done minus him a bed
& nosh that made him happy in the chest.

He trudge with spondee feet the muddy exit path
reluctant Charlie wave at faces sour of he
a few of them with sorcery him tookt out Death
: the cow crushed boy, of ignorance
done Godly God them made, of Charlie’s good.
A minutes silence for the fate determined him …

12 Comments Add yours

  1. pseudonymous says:

    Normally I really detest feeling stupid but this puts a smile on my face after a long hard days work it’s sorta Faulkneresque in it’s density and invalidity

    1. O i’m sorry if they do that. the difficulty is really in their stupidity: if i didn’t damage the scansion the way i have there’d be no problem, but the whole point is for form to match function, well the function of Charlie’s stupidity to be exact. i feel this style is truly original but i am aware of the risk in isolating readers. i apologize for that. i am very happy they put a smile on your face though else i’d feel guilty.

      1. pseudonymous says:

        Faulkner would put the reader in the mind of an invalid, which you do with this series in your own unique way—yes thats what I mean, you are funny man no need to apologize, I don’t even understand what a scansion is lol

      2. pseudonymous says:

        Something I do sometimes but never knew there was a word for, thanks!

      3. you ‘scansion’ just fine pal. it is simply put the metrical variations of the line.
        some of my favorite characters are morons & i love them for it. Charlie is based on 3: Harpo Marx, Prince Myshkin & Charlie Day from It’s Always Sunny.

      4. pseudonymous says:

        That is so epic! You’re on point with that, I didn’t make the connection, now I see it so clear

      5. pseudonymous says:

        I should have said clear as day…

      6. ba da boom. i think Charlie Kelly is a very complex character. one of the finest comic characters in my eyes. the depth of his oddness & habits is astonishing.

  2. Pablo Cuzco says:

    I suddenly feel very old. Poor Charlie gets the boot from Jesus Camp.

    1. Shouldn’t tell such crappy jokes, especially one’s about an atheist’s choice of footwear.

  3. Pablo Cuzco says:

    Mock a sin. I get it.

    1. Terrible joke but what was needed for my purpose.

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